"Sentence as River and as Drum" from Kim Stafford



Publication: The Quarterly, Vol. 25, No. 3
Date: 2003
Summary: Stafford encourages students to try paragraphs made up entirely of either long or short sentences, eventually creating paragraphs that embed both "the roll of the river and the beat of the drum."


When I left college to conduct an oral history project in the 1970s, I learned how the spoken language is performed in the key of and. A storyteller ends each "sentence," each episode in a long recollection, with the word and, which simultaneously holds the floor from interruption and links one action to the next. This makes the music of one's life feel endless.
At the same time I was observing this performance quirk, I was troubled by the way school had taught me to write interminable prosy sentences, with proof piled upon proof in classy rhetorical structures that left me breathless if I tried to read them aloud. I had learned too well. As someone beginning to write—to write the stories I was hearing in the world with the language habits I had learned in school—I felt the need to both unreel and to rein in my utterances. So, when I became a teacher of writing, I began to use the twin exercise of the long and short sentence to make each student's repertoire more pliable. Each mode tempers the other.
The idea is simple. First, I invite an assembly of writers to compose a sentence that goes on for at least a page—and no fair cheating with a semicolon. Just use "and" when you have to, or a dash, or make a list, and keep it going. After your years of being told not to, take pleasure in writing the greatest run-on sentence you can.
After doing this exercise some fifty times myself, I think I've begun to learn the atmospheric opportunity of the sentence that never has to make a hard decision. As always I comply with my own request, writing without stopping until I come to the lower right corner of my page, and then I put a title on the monster I have created:
A Life of Art in a Busy World
Could my writing be the river that winds through the obstacles of my life, flowing in its own way, without conflict, so sure of its own relation to gravity that it unfurls its long story past clock and meal, past child and loving wife, inquiring gently through dream and waking, flowing undisturbed and undisturbing past the mailbox, curling and eddying softly past the edges of deadline and annual report, suffusing budget and application and prospectus, carrying little rafts of poetry and barges of prose gracefully through the channel deepened by fear and scoured by grief, urging my intention effortlessly through thickets of disbelief, mildly passing no and yes and maybe on its journey to lower and lower ground, moving easily, flooding with clear water and light the lowest reaches I can find, without any destination but down, without any intention but vital motion through, without any agenda but inclusion, buoyancy, permission, carrying the living scent of one place to the hunger of another, flowing nameless and pure, eager, without ambition, disguised as the world itself traveling through the world?
Then we shake out our writing hands, take a blank page, and write from the upper left to the lower right corner again, but this time letting no sentence be longer than four words (but every sentence must have a subject and a verb). Again, I try the exercise along with everyone and then release my cramp by adding a long and languid title:
The Realm Where Writing Can Happen Even When You Are So Busy You Can't Write Long But You Can Still Write All the Time Because You Have Watched How Rivers Move
Writing takes time. Life takes time. There's your problem. Can they happen together? They can. Rivers have the key. Rivers pass rocks. There is a way. A rock sits heavy. The river goes around. The mountain rises. The river cuts down. Life gets complex. Writing gets simple. There is a crevice. A moment opens. Writing takes possession. Queens rule small countries. Kings preside over jewels. Wives master hard times. Husbands can learn. Writing braids a rope. Each strand is small. Dreams are filaments. Conversations are strong wire. Family stories weave everything. It all connects. Novels forge rivers. Every little thing counts. Do you believe? Do you want this? Others haunt arenas. Your writing inhabits threads. There are ways. Believe. Write. Be patient. Be bold. It will come together. Gather all things. Travel through time. Harvest gold. Be hospitable to everyone. Leave everyone. Enter your cell. Be the lucky prisoner. Your words are rain. Be free as rain. Tell it all. Rivers have ends. So do you. Be big. Let go.
An odd piece, but I'm fond of it, and I find some lucky nuggets: "Be the lucky prisoner." I like that. And more important than the success of either exercise is that I have reminded myself of the true elasticity of the sentence. In the midst of a run of long sentences, sometime soon, I will remember to embed a small one. Life needs contrast. And in the midst of drumbeat assertions, sometime soon, I will remember to let my cello speak an aria.
The exercise of the long sentence may help me discover connections among many things, all gathered into the net with the simple sticky magnetism of and. The exercise of the short sentences may help me discover the multiplicity of divergent opportunity within a single subject. I enjoy both. Together they contribute to the preliminary calisthenics of our writing workshop: Which was easy? Which was hard? Why? As we write, let's watch for opportunities to be concise, and then inclusive, breaking the boundaries of the acceptable in order to be a river, and be a drum. Rivers have long rhythms. Drums roll.


About the Author Kim Stafford is director of the Northwest Writing Institute and the Oregon Writing Project at Lewis and Clark College.
A version of this article appears in Stafford's recently released book The Muses Among Us: Eloquent Listening and Other Pleasures of the Writer's Craft (University of Georgia Press, 2003).

This article  is featured in the NWP booklet 30 Ideas for Teaching Writing.

Need to make an important decision? Set up a flowchart.

Creating a flowchart to make important, well reasoned decisions is easy.  


Three main types of Symbols used in a flowchart:


  • Elongated circles, which signify the start or end of a process.
  • Rectangles, which show instructions or actions.
  • Diamonds, which show decisions that must be made




Example:

Color-Coded Feedback for Student Writing

Marcia Hilsabeck, a former AP teacher and AP Summer Institute Coordinator/Presenter from Round Rock, Texas, is credited for first introducing me to this marvelous strategy for providing students with feedback to their writing at a glance.  I have used this strategy for many years with an assortment of grade levels and abilities.  Not only do students enthusiastically respond to this type of feedback, but it can easily become a springboard for a discussion in peer editing or student-teacher writing conferences .

Pink, yellow, green, orange, and blue highlighters are used to mark syntax, mechanics, diction, and the well written/"good stuff"  in an essay.  With one glance, students see their frequent errors and are positively rewarded for thoughtfully crafted, finely honed phrasing.

Here's how I use the colors:
Pink - mechanics/grammar & usage/ punctuation errors such as commas in a series, spelling, capitalization, etc.
Yellow -  overuse of "to be" verbs (am, is, are, was, were), and/or pronouns
Orange - syntax errors such as run-ons, sentence fragments, comma splices, or wordiness
Blue -   wrong word, pronoun/antecedent errors, diction problems
Green - The well written sentence, outstanding "turn of a phrase", exemplary use of literary devices

There are several options for using this color-coded feedback method.  Teacher or student can use one color for one type of problem per draft.  For example, I may tell my class that for this draft I am going to concentrate of syntax errors  because we just spent time examining and working with sentence fragments, run-on sentences, and sentence combining techniques.  So in this instance, only the orange highlighter will be used to draw attention to specific sentence errors requiring revision.  For a final draft, I would use all the colors.  Students are aiming for a paper that only has green markings because that would indicate the well written, really awesome "stuff."  Students especially like "going for the green."

Global Visitors

Thank you to all of those folks from around the world who have stopped by here.

United States
645
Netherlands
8
Germany
4
Russia
2
Singapore
2
United Kingdom
1
Philippines
1

Two minutes and a dream

A hero emerges from a stable.
A hero that teaches us about long shots and hope;
Teaches us to believe in the impossible.
Americans love a challenge.
What better challenge than a race-
A horse race.
The field is leveled;
The stakes are high.
The tension mounts;
We can be lifted out of our doldrums.
For two minutes
We feel the rush
And witness greatness
In a horse.
We all want to go at something in a full gallop;
Defeat the odds-
Win by a nose.
Two minutes
To watch the glory;
To watch the strength of the legs,
The flexing of the haunches,
The release of the muscles,
The shimmer of sweat on a chesnut coat,
Nostrils flaring,
Neck out, stretched,
Reaching for the unseen golden finish.
That’s in all of us.
That’s a glimpse at freedom-
At being an American with a dream-
A dream of running at something
With all we got
And winning.

~Lori Vanden Berghe

Improving Syntax

Syntax: the arrangement of words and phrases to create well-formed sentences in a language.



Let's say I have my students check for a Flesch-Kincaid grade level score (Readability and Comprehension ) and they discover their piece is written at a 7.0 or 8.0 level, but they are in 10th grade (or higher) and striving for a more sophisticated tone, style, and syntax in their writing.


What I have them do next is take that same paragraph and run it through this Syntax Analysis Chart to see exactly where the issues are and how they can revise to improve their readability for a higher score and stylistically create a more sophisticated piece of writing.


Oftentimes, students will discover they are using the same sentences openers ("I think"), structure (simple), and "to be" verbs (am, is was, were) repeatedly. One of the most important elements of syntax is the way the words, phrases, and clauses are arranged. This is a key element of the author’s style and can have a marked effect on meaning.  



I first learned of this strategy at a Advanced Placement Language and Composition conference I attended some years back.  The College Board says, "This reflective tool not only helps students examine how style contributes to meaning and purpose but also helps students identify various writing problems (repetitiveness, possible run-ons or fragments, weak verbs, and lack of syntactical variety). In addition, students are made aware of their own developing voices and diction." 

Readability Scores and Comprehension

A readability score is designed to indicate comprehension difficulty.  Most webpages try to maintain a 7.0 to 8.0 (7th to 8th grade) reading comprehension level. Students can utilize this feature for improving their writing skills, and teachers can use the statistics to gauge comprehension level for corresponding with parents.



First, with your document open, go to the icon at the top left of your screen and click on Word Options.
Next, click
Proofing. At the bottom of that screen you will need to check the Readability Statistics option, then click OK.
After you check your grammar and spelling, you will see the readability statistics pop up after making your corrections.

The Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level score is determined by total number of words, sentences, and paragraphs resulting in a comprehension difficulty score related to an American grade school level.

To determine the grade level for comprehension of a writing sample, Word counts the number of letters in words, the number of words in sentences, the lengths of sentences, and the lengths of paragraphs. The shorter the words, sentences, and paragraphs the lower the comprehension difficulty and grade level.

The Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level statistic can be a helpful tool for writers who want to improve their comprehension level for a specific audience. Students may need to improve their syntax and diction for a sophisticated audience, and educators may need to adjust their writing for broad range of community members and/or parents.

Readability Statistics  provide writers with one more tool to use as a way to evaluate their writing for improvement.

from Barbara Kingsolver- author


Do you go through a lot of drafts?

Gazillions.  I adore revision.  Whether it’s a two-page article or a 500-page book, I rewrite endlessly.  I may rewrite the first paragraph of a novel fifty times before I’m satisfied.  I comb through a manuscript again and again, altering every sentence a little or a lot.  I don’t print out every draft on paper, or I’d be mowing down forests.  


Pounding out a first draft is like hoeing a row of corn – you just keep your head down and concentrate on getting to the end.  Revision is where fine art begins.  It’s thrilling to take an ending and pull it backward like a shiny thread through the whole fabric of a manuscript, letting little glints shine through here and there.  To plant resolution, like a seed, into chapter one.  To create new scenes, investing a character with the necessary damage, the right kind of longing.  To pitch out boldly and try again.  To work every metaphor across the whole, back and forth, like weaving.  I love that word “fabrication,” because making an elaborate fiction feels so much like making cloth. 


Perfectionism is my disease.  Revision is my milk and honey.


Read more from Barbara Kingsolver




...and whether pigs have wings

There are many applications for using Voki with all ages. Choose an avatar and record what you want. Fun! Not able (or willing) to record your own voice? Voki can transfer text to speech too, and you can even choose the accent. The site now has a teacher's corner for tips and lesson plan discussions.


My little experiment was taking one stanza from Lewis Carrol's, "The Walrus and The Carpenter" (Alice Through The Looking Glass) and putting a little spin to it.

Witness the magic

Since the Beat Poets first began appearing in coffee houses in the 50s, poetry has moved from formal readings to impromptu, open mic settings.  Pushing the edges of established views and uses of language, the Beats took free form poetry, added rhythms, and became the voice of a generation.  So, taking note from the voices of the past, and adding the hip-hop voices of today, poetry has become a powerful tool for improving literacy in schools through Spoken Word performances and Slam competitions because even the most reluctant learner is motivated by this self-expressive medium.


I have seen firsthand how Slam poetry when modeled and channeled in a classroom can facilitate literacy, communication, and creativity from kids who are otherwise marginalized in academia. But in order for students to find their voices and be willing to open themselves, they must feel secure and appreciated. And teachers must be willing to stand back, allowing the kids freedom to openly express (while still abiding by school policy) those inner most, sometimes gut wrenching and controversial topics. Students begin to experiment with language in ways they would not otherwise because "getting it just right" takes on a whole new meaning and dimension in this genre.

Dr. Janette Hughes from the University of Ontario Institute of Technology says this about using poetry to improve literacy: "A focus on oral language development through the reading and performing of poetry acknowledges that sound is meaning. When we hear the sound of the words in a poem read aloud, we gain a better understanding of the meaning of the writing...If we want our students to understand how literature, and poetry in particular, brings them to a deeper understanding of life, we need to find meaningful ways to engage them in poetry." 

A former colleague told me once:  "Poetry is an important and integral part of the human experience.  It may not be to the page, but to anybody who has tried to woo a lover through voice, body, or both has experienced poetry.  I don't think it is better than any medium, but it is definitely part of the human spirit."

There are Slam teams in nearly every major city in the U.S. who also compete nationally, so finding a poet to help you out in the classroom would not be difficult.  Bring performance poetry to your students, set up a competition in your class or across classes, and witness the magic unfold. 

April is National Poetry Month

The Trouble with Poetry: A Poem of Explanation

A U.S. poet laureate shares.

by Billy Collins


The trouble with poetry, I realized
as I walked along a beach one night --
cold Florida sand under my bare feet,
a show of stars in the sky --

the trouble with poetry is
that it encourages the writing of more poetry,
more guppies crowding the fish tank,
more baby rabbits
hopping out of their mothers into the dewy grass.

And how will it ever end?
unless the day finally arrives
when we have compared everything in the world
to everything else in the world,
and there is nothing left to do
but quietly close our notebooks
and sit with our hands folded on our desks.

Poetry fills me with joy
and I rise like a feather in the wind.
Poetry fills me with sorrow
and I sink like a chain flung from a bridge.

But mostly poetry fills me
with the urge to write poetry,
to sit in the dark and wait for a little flame
to appear at the tip of my pencil.

And along with that, the longing to steal,
to break into the poems of others
with a flashlight and a ski mask.

And what an unmerry band of thieves we are,
cut-purses, common shoplifters,
I thought to myself
as a cold wave swirled around my feet
and the lighthouse moved its megaphone over the sea,
which is an image I stole directly
from Lawrence Ferlinghetti --
to be perfectly honest for a moment --

the bicycling poet of San Francisco
whose little amusement park of a book
I carried in a side pocket of my uniform
up and down the treacherous halls of high school.
Billy Collins, the U.S. poet laureate from 2001 to 2003, is the author of seven collections of poetry and is a distinguished professor of English at Lehman College of the City University of New York. He serves as the poet laureate of New York State.

This article originally published on 10/18/2006

Writing A Woman's Life



According to Heilbrun, women's lives have been written under the guise of what the perception of their life should be. Societal pressures, patriarchal constraints, and a lack of language not “steeped in that of men,” all contribute to the silence of real issues and topics for women. I was reminded of Anis Nin who wrote two sets of journals: one for herself and one for others to read.

It was in my Women in Literature class in college that I was first exposed to this book, but I have kept it close for reference ever since. In fact, one year I had a small class of all female, senior Independent Honors students and we decided to tackle the book together. Prior to Women's History Month (March), we wrote letters to prominent, respected women from the local, state, and national arena to come speak at our high school about the trials and tribulations they had to overcome to reach their dreams. Diane Sawyer wrote a letter back to one student, and Hillary Clinton sent a letter from the White House. Several local women came to speak to a small group and were taped for an interview by our broadcasting class. All as a result of reading this book. Well worth the time for men and women to read.

Virtual Museums


A museum is a place that retains objects a society deems valuable.

Those valued objects may represent national interests, art, technology, history, science, or other aspects of our culture, but most assuredly, museums are no longer stodgy, old buildings with ancient artifacts behind glass walls or untouchable works of art. Museums have become architectural feats with interactive and multimedia rich exhibits to both entertain and educate their visitors since museum patrons are ever more visual and kinesthetic learners who require hands-on activities and media to tease their senses and stimulate active learning, not passive viewing.

When educators and students lack the funds or location restrictions to visit these monoliths of society, the internet is the next best means to bring the resources that museums offer right to the classroom. Aside from the opportunity to enjoy a virtual tour of a museum’s physical locale and its exhibits, their online resources should enhance Project-based Learning, making it authentic with inquiry and research instruments to develop critical thinking, problem solving, and communication skills that lead the learner toward real-world applications of their gained knowledge.

My top choices represent museums whose missions are to stimulate intellectual curiosity and do so with a plethora of online resources. In addition to the standards of quality used to evaluate websites, I am focusing on interactivity, visual stimulation, validity, and a “coolness” factor in my ranking of what I deem the “best” museums with an online presence. Shining a spotlight on these evaluation elements means the sites I’ve chosen as “best” encourage students to explore more by doing something other than reading text and make teachers want to share because the content is driven by research, problem solving, and high level thinking strategies.




National Archives


“Teaching with primary documents encourages a varied learning environment for teachers and students alike. Lectures, demonstrations, analysis of documents, independent research, and group work become a gateway for research with historical records in ways that sharpen students' skills and enthusiasm for history, social studies, and the humanities.”



This website ranks number one not only because of its outstanding primary resources for educators and students but because it houses our nation’s most esteemed documents. Every American should take the opportunity to visit the National Archives if for no other reason then to stand in witness to the dimly lit, climate controlled, heavily guarded, glass enclosed Declaration of Independence and Constitution of the United States. They are the nation’s definitive documents of freedom and democracy. Unfortunately, not all of us can afford such an opportunity, so the online exhibits bring the Archives to our homes and classrooms. We can conveniently view the pieces of history that have made us the nation we are today.

The focused online exhibits contain documented photographs, original testimonies, political cartoons, film clips and recordings, letters, diaries, and audio pieces that chronicle America’s history. Documented Rights, Charters of Freedom, Electing a President, The Way We Worked, and the 1906 San Francisco Earthquake are just a few of the featured exhibits that give us a glimpse of our most precious national artifacts.

The Digital Classroom of the Archives provides teaching activities that are correlated to national standards and makes cross-curricular connections. Teachers will find printable worksheets for analyzing written documents, artifacts, cartoons, sound recordings, motion pictures, posters, photographs, and maps that will develop thinking skills prior to working with the online exhibits. A teacher is not limited to using the packaged exhibits contained within this site; she could develop her own units of study by choosing any of the sources available from the Archives.




Smithsonian
“The Smithsonian spans 16 museums, more than 100 affiliates, and seven research centers. Many of the Smithsonian museums, research centers, and outreach offices have education directors and offices that work with educators across the nation.”



The Resources Library contains printable lesson plans based on primary sources that are searchable by grade, subject, state/national standards, and specific museum. Publications and online conferences are also available sources for teachers.
Every educator’s goal is for her students to ask questions, think critically, and write effectively. In the IdeaLab for Artifacts and Analysis, teachers are provided a strategy for incorporating historical artifacts and documents into their curriculum to reinforce inquiry skills to emphasize analytical thinking and writing.

The IdeaLabs for students include US Rationing during WWII, Digging for Answers, Walking on the Moon, and Mr. President. These eye-catching, interactive lessons provide students opportunities to explore primary sources—such as photographs and audio and video recordings. In Prehistoric Climate Change, students learn to examine the fossils of tree leaves and use their findings in a mathematical equation that tells how high the temperatures rose in prehistoric times and how to extrapolate that information to today.



The Museum of Modern Art
“Teacher Programs at The Museum of Modern Art are designed to introduce kindergarten through twelfth grade teachers to the Museum's collection and special exhibitions, to offer techniques for integrating the study of art into the classroom, and to help teachers from all subject areas to find connections with the collection.“


The third ranked Metropolitan Museum of Modern Art has audio, video, and images of great artists as resources to educators and students alike. Programs devoted to specific collections and special exhibits with artist and curator talks can be easily accessed through the Online Projects and Online Communities links of MoMA. Modern Teachers connects educators with MoMA’s resources and collection with guides, lessons, and images to use with their K-12 classes. Students and teachers can register to create their own collection of images for a project or lesson too.

Teens are just one focus group for the museum. The Red Studio is the place for them to go behind the scenes to post questions for artists, manipulate pieces of art, and listen to or create their own podcasts on topics like, “What does the American flag represent? Is a painting still a painting if it's made of chocolate or nails? How is the Museum like a teacup? What does the word "metaphysical" mean to you?” Contest links offer students a place to upload their artwork and compete for honors.

Kids love the works of Tim Burton, including the claymation/animated films “Night Before Christmas” and “Corpse Bride.” In Online Projects, students will find a multimedia lesson to watch two videos of Burton discussing his creative process and art.



AMNH
“Resources for Learning were developed by the American Museum of Natural History to make our extensive collection of scientific and educational materials more readily available to anyone who is interested in teaching and learning about science…Resources on this Web site can help you explain and explore scientific topics and methods. Each resource has a concise description that includes a title, resource type, grade level, and key concepts.”
Educators will find the extensive online sources from the American Museum of Natural History organized by Activities, Curriculum Materials, Articles, Evidence and Analysis, Exhibition Materials, and Reference Lists, according to subject areas of Anthropology, Astronomy, Biology, Earth Science, or Paleontology and sub-topics in each. In the Special Collections, colorful, grade-level appropriate interactive and multimedia presentations supplement in-depth curriculum topics such as Antarctica or Biodiversity.
In addition, the AMNH is well known for their fascinating dioramas in each exhibit hall, and while they are amazing to view in person, online visitors can enjoy them conveniently too through life like virtual tours.

“The Museum's habitat group dioramas, located extensively throughout its halls, are among the most renowned and beloved exhibits at the Museum. With precise depictions of geographical locations and the careful, anatomically correct mounting of specimens, these stunning dioramas are windows onto a world of animals, their behavior, and their habitats. Moreover, since many of the environments represented have been exploited or degraded, some dioramas preserve places and animals as they no longer exist. The viewer of a habitat group diorama is able to travel not only across continents, but also, in some cases, through time.... 

The habitat dioramas are among the greatest treasures of the American Museum of Natural History, Perhaps nothing embodies the spirit and mission of the Museum so completely as these amazing technical feats of illusion, which are recognized internationally as superb examples of the fusion of art and science." –Lewis W. Bernard, Chairman of the American Museum of Natural History

Ology.com is the museum’s website for kids to explore science adventures, activities, and more.




Virtual Williamsburg
“The sights and sounds of the 18th century: Experience life as it was in our nation's yesterdays…
Our tools for educators bring the excitement of history alive for students. Uncommon classroom resources combine historical content with modern media and teaching methods.”
This spectacular, award winning site is an interactive and media-rich resource replete with bios, essays, and articles on the everyday lives of extraordinary 18th century Virginia. The virtual tour of the Colonial Williamsburg includes maps, music, images, and timelines fully depicting each building and events in the town and nation highlighted.
Resources allow glimpses into the everyday lives of the people of the colony, politicians of the day, clothing, music and more. Multimedia sources include video, audio, photos, blogs, and games.
This site does not provide teachers with specific lesson plans, but it certainly makes the list of “best” museums because of the interactive quality and quantity of resources for students, allowing them to research and explore life during colonial times. Teachers could certainly develop their own plans of study with the multitude of options provided here. A virtual scavenger hunt could take students from building to building and across the span of events illustrated in the timelines.

USHMM
“A living memorial to the Holocaust, the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum inspires leaders and citizens to confront hatred, prevent genocide, promote human dignity, and strengthen democracy.”


The most heinous acts of violence and hate against a group of people took place during the Holocaust of World War II. This museum is a memorial to those who lost their lives, survivors, and a celebration of how nations, groups, and individuals fought the terror of the Nazis and their resistance efforts to protect Jews. The museum provides many online resources for teachers striving to help students learn the history of the Holocaust and reflect upon the moral and ethical questions raised by that history. Holocaust research sources include animated maps with timeline layers, official documents, photos of artifacts, and videotaped stories from survivors. Lessons for the Classroom and Activities are available for download as support for teachers, and Online Exhibitions and Encyclopedias are excellent sources for students to research further.

But the resources do not end with the Holocaust of yesterday because the world’s citizenry is still threatened by extreme acts of violence and hate; Contemporary Issues on Genocide and Anti-Semitism, Non-Jewish Victims of Hate (Jehovah’s Witnesses, Poles, Homosexuals, Handicapped, Sinti and Roma Gypsies), and Conscience Raising sources are here on this site as well.